Judi Larson's Introductory Peace about "Soul" and Spirit in Illness and Wellness

Mardy's Note: This is the 'introductory piece' Judi Larson has provided on Lumigrate.com and I very much wanted everyone reading in the Forums to find her wherever they might be searching. So I've made her introductory piece also appear here in the spirituality forum, since she is a certified spirituality coach and as you will see, below, 'comes from' that spiritual place with her therapeutic information and strategies.

Judi also is a social worker and certified addictions counselor, so her 'base/home' at Lumigrate is going to be in the Head/Brain/Mind forum at Lumigrate.com, the link to which is: www.lumigrate.com/forums/integrative-medicine-parts-make-whole/therapy-behavioralmental-health/-head/brain-body/mind-p

When you think of the word "soul", what comes to mind for you?  I share my humble thoughts regarding this word. If it speaks to you, wonderful; if not, that is fine too.

Soul, to me, is the energy at the core of my being that I chose to nurture, invest in and honor.  Soul is my connection to the source of all life; creator. My soul is my gift to the world molded by God.

Writing this and reflecting back on my life, I have come to realize that God had a plan and a purpose for my life.  I was born to parents who where alcohol; abuse and fear were the daily energy.  I now see why I was strong-willed and stubborn and had my own agenda and purpose for my life. It did not include God.

Being raised in energy of fear, where I did not feel safe or loved this young child went into survival mode to exist. Did you ever tell yourself the only way you could survive was to place trust in yourself and no one else? Reading this, can you relate? 

Unknown to the child at the time, trusting in herself created a world of darkness, suffering, and torment. She learned feelings were not something she was allowed -- they brought pain and sorrow. By the time she reached adolescence, her soul had been broken into pieces. She was existing, not living. She developed an eating disorder attempting to get rid of her pain. Anyone reading this relate?  

She also became a people pleaser. She started telling herself the only way she would survive was to please people. Someone would then find some good in her and love her.  She came to a place in her life where people-pleasing was not the answer she was looking for. Her soul was starting to die. She became severely depressed. By the late part of her thirties her soul was murdered. She did not realize at the time her soul was murdered as a young child when she was abused.  Does this resemble your childhood?  

By now she was having thoughts of suicide. Her depression became so bad she started sleeping eighteen hours a day and her life began to crumble.

It was at this time in her life a couple from her church walked up to her and told her their concern for her. For some odd reason she felt safe around these people. Not safe enough to trust what they really wanted from her however. At the age of thirty seven she decided it was time for life to be over for her. She went to bed hoping she would not wake up in the morning.

As you have already figured out she did not die. She gave up, telling herself she could no longer live with the torment anymore. What she came to realize was that day what had died was the 'false self' she had created to live for her family, in order to find her 'true self'.  

Remember earlier I told you that God had a plan and purpose for your life? The day of her surrender she told herself she had nothing to lose. She told herself "if there is a God, let's see what he has to offer!"

It took her time to trust creator, she was angry at him/it for the life she had been given. Over time her soul began to mend. She was able to gain hope, and her life today is something she would not have believed possible.

This is a list of different problems women were suffering with when we met up, and I have helped them with:

• Overweight
• Addictions: chemicals, men, shopping, affairs, etc.
• Receiving validation from outside themselves to fill there needs.
• Looking for love in all the wrong places: sex for love. (Just so you know, "sex" is not "love".)
• Perfectionism
• Domestic violence
• Depression, anxiety, etc. 

Remember earlier I asked you what "soul" means to you? Ask yourself "what condition is my soul in today?" If it is not full of life/"aliveness", happiness, and contentment, maybe it is time to find out the reason.

When I choose to create an inner life for myself that was healthy, safe and nurturing, I began to feel loved, joyful, content and fulfilled, and for this I will continue to be grateful.

QUOTES

Life is the sum of all your choices ~~ Albert Camus

A coach or counselor with a deep connection with creator holds and supports your soul until you can do it for yourself.