"Suffering" as a Subject of Discussion

I saw this on facebook, posted by Marianne Williamson, and thought it would be an interesting topic of discussion:

"Suffering doesn't make us weak; only an avoidance of suffering makes us weak. Sometimes the only way to get around it is to burn through it." -- Marianne Williamson

She also posted a quote by one of the long-time ago leaders in the world of mental health:
"All neurosis is a substitute for legitimate suffering." -- Carl Jung

I will say that the word 'suffer' has been a word since I started Lumigrate and doing extensive marketing utilizing facebook, which has driven me bananas.    While I am in my early 50s, I didn't 'do' occupational therapy school until the mid 1990s; I was the first of the 'new' curriculum at the then-top in the US program at Colorado State University.  This was at the time when there was a huge shift to doing things with 'political correctness' and I was one of the students who helped initiate a conversation about our concerns between the students in my class and the instructors. In their attempt to make things 'progressive' related to people-first language and being inclusive of people of all ethnic, political, spiritual and 'whatever' beliefs, we were not getting the basics: wheelchair positioning, hand therapy, adaptive equipment.  

Talk about 'suffering'!  My poor friends who had to listen to me grouse about my tax money AND tuition money at work!  I'd quit my VERY good job for the University (in today's dollars that aspect alone of my education was costing me $150,000) to join a program that hog-tied you for being able to work with all the group projects they had you in so you could 'learn to work in groups' -- I wasn't 20, I was 35 and had worked in highly effective groups that it turns out, had helped impact the Clean Air Act Amendments of 1990! I felt like I was put back in kindergarden, literally.  

One of the worst days was the second year when we did budgets for one day in our administration class and the instructor used her budget as an example.  For a tiny little university program she administered, NOT something we'd see if we were out, as I was in a few years, heading a project that had to with driving rehabilitation.  OR like my cohorts have when heading a deparment of 15 therapists and equipment needs, etc.  Or as I later did with my occupational therapy business where I had to negotiate a % of revenue and project sales and etc.  Fortunately, I'd taken a lot of business classes when first out of high school before going to work for the University, then in that job had major feduciary responsibilities with spreadsheets and spending money through paperwork transactions.  

It will always be my opinion that academia at that time was filled with people who didn't work for so long at anything to do with what we were doing that they were letting their personal 'stuff' dictate what they were teaching.  Several of the instructors 'came out' as gay/lesbian since they felt so secure with the way we all handled the diversity training they spent hours on.  But in the end, once I survived many hard years learning in the field as an OTR what I wished I'd been given when paying tuition in exchange for an education, I regularly value the lessons they imparted to myself and my cohorts.  (Including being immersed in a 'system' whether that be family, work, society' which is not being run well.  How much do you fight it, how much do you 'ping feedback to let them MAYBE make some shifts', how much do you extend yourself to make the path better for those behind you: isn't that your human responsibility?' 

An example of something we studied ad nauseum in the OT program for two years: "people-first language".  Every time I read something a professional or consumer has written and it says something like "stroke victim" or "fibromyalgia sufferer", it is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me! But that was the way 'we talked back in the old days'.  So I try to point out to the ones that are really having an impact on people that I care about (my potential consumers) that important detail.  And it honestly makes a difference to me in the products and providers I choose to work with.  And sometimes I see the conscious 'oh, got it, you're right, thanks' but then the habits die hard.  But with time, a transformation can take place, similar to  the overall transformation that we're in, I believe. Calling them 'providers' instead of 'physicians', having so many more non-traditionally trained people out there 'in the mix' working with people, I've had to look not just at credentials but deeper -- their ethics, their true personhood and what their mission is about.  I'm scrutinized the same way with Lumigrate, I assure you! 

It only takes a little more words to say 'person with fibromyalgia' or 'person who had a stroke' or 'post CVA patient'.  My opinion about this, however, is not JUST from my education about the progressive way of "people-first language" I obtained as an OTStudent, but also of my personal belief that I went into the OT program with, related to the mind/body connection.  I had to sit for an interview with the lead admissions instructor in the program related to if I'd taken enough philosophy, and once it was clear to her that I was an appreciator of all doctrines and not one in particular, I was allowed in with the credits I had, which was a very long ago class in Eastern Philosophy.  

So I appreciate they were screening us out as it is a very critical part of being an effective therapist to not push your religion on people.  At Lumigrate, I actually have reached out to people of the Jewish and Christian faiths first related to writing things for Lumigrate and still don't have anything from my personal belief system.  Someday we'll get equal representation perhaps.  I just go where the needs are and haven't seen the need for it yet, although I did just read a fascinating piece yesterday about the Chinese astrology calendar.  I just love reading about different philosphies and histories from the world because the similarities from one to the other are so intriguing to me.  Just as when you see many of the same providers saying 'this is good for your arteries', you figure 'wow, that must be the real deal!'.  

If you label yourself and others as 'sufferers', what impact does that have on your reality? Similarly, while I think 'blond jokes' are funny, even back when I was blond and not darker and redder and grayer as I am today, I didn't tolerate them, because IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE on what people believe overall and can make a difference to a blond!  I had a hispanic employee once post blond jokes that had been faxed from where her sister worked onto the bulletin board at a state-funded office.  

My response was to quietly take down, put it on her desk and say 'I threw the dumb Mexican fax in the trash, I suggest you do that with this as well -- or recycle, your choice.'  After I moved on from that department, I got a call within a month from her asking to meet after work for a drink; she apologized and said she'd not realized how much I was teaching her and that she had been resistant to learning.  

The boss man also called not too long after that and said he'd not recognized how much QA I was doing and what all I had done and was dealing with and offered to double my previous salary if I'd come back.  I had my sights set on the OT program so I declined.  Even after I graduated he saw me one and had an idea what I was making I would imagine, and offered 50% more than I was making as an OT.  

I felt in my heart of hearts/ my 'soul' if you will, that my future was to walk the path of occupational therapy, and it has lead me through many lessons which I hope to be able to bring to Lumigrate in various ways in order to benefit many.  

So today, I wanted to at the very least talk about the word 'suffering' as I have here.  

And to end with another quote, Yoda said to Luke Skywalker when he was learning to levitate with is own energy and Luke said he was TRYING to, "There is to do ..... and to do not ........ there IS .. NO... 'TRY'."

I look forward to the thoughts and words of others on this. 

Live and Learn -- Learn and Live Better!!

~~ Mardy