Reconnections and Reflections

I write this on the 11th hour (mountain time), of the 11th day of the 11th month, 2021.  

In 2020 and 2021, I was to be re-connected with the Veteran's Affairs / V.A. system.  Soon, I'd be reconnected to a lot of things.  So much so, I wondered if my life was wrapping up. It was a time to look back and reflect on a lot of things, as I simultaneously moved ahead.  

I'd been connected in the fall of 2019 to the daughter of an 88 year old gentleman, who had served in the Korean war's time.  She would be lined up as P.O.A. for her very special father.  Special in needs, and special in how he charmed people he met. 

I'd not initially know a lot of the details of why she was needing help as we got to the holiday season, because she was humble about her work, taking care of people in a very different way, than I.  But I commiserated with the Rocky Mountain winter road conditions as a factor in her ability to come help him in winter because I'd dealt with that for the years my father was alive.   

I'd be invited to go meet the "papa" patriarch, the daughter, her husband and one of their grown children on a Saturday in December, 2019.  I'd not yet know of "Covid", but I'd have the distinct gut impression this was a person and place of significance.  I'd treaded water in the weeks between our phone conversation and their having the time when in town to have me come meet him.  And go from there. 

I'd "notice" the exterior of the beautiful home, and the particularly nice landscaping with the front porch that had, clearly, been a place in the past where time was spent.  I'd make a mental note how it appeared a bit  neglected --  the signs and symptoms of declining well-being and not enough time by those assisting.  My father's home had become the same way when he was nearing life's end, as well as so many homes I've served in various ways in my path doing my "life's work". 

Things I've learned during my years as an occupational therapist melded with lessons being a person with complex chronic health challenges, and a small but unwell family of origin.  The slow, gradual decline from competence.  

And so, it began.  The man had such an adaptive strategy for life's hardships, I found he really didn't see his deficiencies and needs.  Therefore, his family saw the need for me to help and persevered coercing him.  He was in the habit of giving to his community, so in his mind he somewhat put me on his "donations" list for a certain amount of money every week.  And I'd give him time requisite with that amount based on my usual rate for those with low income.  He wasn't low income, but he was a "disabled veteran" and had embraced the sympathy that can bring.  Including getting discounts.   

As I'd learn, he had home based primary care from the V.A., and he was in the complex chronic conditions specialist's hands as well, which provided the special outpatient PT at the V.A. complex, who happened to be one of my colleagues and coworkers from working in home health fifteen years before. 

At my suggestion, I was included at the next PT visit, and asked for a transport wheelchair.  It was a click of a button by the PT, and within days the mobility device he needed (but didn't want to use), arrived.  People know they need to use it or lose it with mobility, so it just sat there, waiting, for months.  

Therapists or others experienced in the progression of medical impairments know a good strategy can be "hope for the best, but plan for the worst".  Someday, sooner or later, the day will come when you need to go further than you can walk, and a transport wheelchair is the starting point.   

I'd remark about how flexible he was, still putting on his own shoes and socks, and even cutting his own toenails when Covid shutdowns for the VA podiatry clinic's toenail maintenance came to a halt.  His vision and neuropathy lead to a cut toe, however, and I would begin going daily.  He attributed his flexibility to taking yoga, years before.  He spoke often of a PT that came to his home, originally from a foreign country, and the positive results he had from the treatment.  

We went through Covid's shutdown together -- I was the only person he had inside his home aside from the neighbor who would bring his mail or help as needed, sometimes bringing foods he knew PapaThread enjoyed.  The daughter wasn't able to come due to the restrictions in her mountain resort community.  The housekeeper.  The barber / stylist.  The nurse.  The doctor. 

Just as the shutdown was sinking in, since he had the Internet for a caption telephone provided by the V.A., and he complained monthly about the cost for something he didn't "need", I bought a used computer for $50, that thankfully had a great monitor with it.  He had severe vision loss and could see the monitor comparatively well.  We attended, virtually, his last grandchild's high school graduation -- O'Rio came too. And I got an appreciation for how his brain worked, as we started with e-address being needed to set up accounts for online ordering and bill paying.  "Papathread" he said, right off the bat!  (Below, a photo of O'Rio at the park during Covid shutdown). 

It It was the best of times, in the worst of things.  I helped arrange for a manual therapist to come to the home, using my massage table I got out of storage and placed in the master / guest suite.  She was my former office mate in a premier outpatient clinic I contracted with in 2005-2008, and had openings due to the hesitancy of many clients to come to her office for their usual appointments. 

He was able to stay in his home for another year because of that, I believe .... AND because he buckled down on diet, more and more as we went along.  It was actually impressive when he was seeing, privately, how close he was to living "over the edge".  

I'd help him, and his family, remotely, to discuss his and their end of life desires for him and his body after his life was over -- including cemetary.  His social worker, who he was very close with, was thrilled, as she was about to retire, and even the doctor hadn't been able to get anywhere with answers about interventions (or lack thereof).  Due to my life's experiences, and perhaps some abilities I have for prediction or fore-sight, I pressed about it, because I knew it needed to be done. 

I'd earn the nickname "Bossy Ross" in the process, something his daughter took special delight in, as he only gave nicknames special ones.  And every time I saw him after he was living at the V.A. living center, he almost immediately brought up his appreciation and admitted I was right about "everything you said".  I'm so glad I was able to serve, effectively. 

Today, on Veteran's Day, I'll go show my respects, after having stopped into the cemetary office to learn what the guidelines are, and what is not permitted.  I passed the information along to the daughter, continuing to assist after his passing.  The whole / holistic care I provide now, encompasses that. 

Along the way from assisting in keeping him safe at home, to remembered after life's end, I helped them with removing everything from the home for it's sale, and in the file cabinet with all the important things I never knew were there (in the garage) I found four photocopied pages of "pelvic wisdom" exercises.  Sketched by hand, by someone, with the basic notes of how to do a series of exercises I recognized!  

It was the work of Lumigrate's 2009 new provider expert in forums, Analii Cunningham!  I'd been asked in that time frame to review the series she was coming up with, and give feedback.  I thought it was wonderful stuff and waited for the day it would be written up or recorded on video.  In the mean time, we created a thread in the forums and linked to her website and Facebook page.  

I'd connect Analii to my then-neighbor, a chiropractor who ended up hosting her in his office and thereby "incubating" her to have space in an area a lot of providers rented space near the mainstream regional medical center.  She would then take a good sized space there when it became available, and in turn incubate a PT who specialized in the pelvis and was doing great, progressive stuff.  The OT would spin off and rent space nex door when it became available. 

I thought it was a dream come true to see them fluorish.  But then they moved on to other ventures, other locations.  And I moved on in content providers at Lumigrate (in Forums). 

So there I stood, on a hot afternoon in the summer of 2021 holding in my "hot little hands" the notes of how to do the pelvic wisdom series I'd forgotten specifics of doing properly, but would never forget how brilliant I thought it was for helping, and regretting not having Analii living locally anymore!  What a "coincidence", that this "old veteran" had a copy of it! 

And so, I saved that story up for a blog, and Veterans Day seemed the perfect day.  In honor of those who provided, I got out the little yoga block and the notes, and started back to the program I was stalled on when Analii was going to make a customized block for me, years ago -- and then we never reconnected except about the supplement she was fully delving into at the start of 2019.  (Protandem, which I was seeking for O'Rio).  

Today, first thing, I reviewed my Veterans Day thread in the forums, which celebrates 10 years on Lumigrate this year.  It's written by Alex Birchfield, a friend of mine from Colorado State University. Here's the link: www.lumigrate.com/forum/111111-honoring-me-veteran-claim-your-power-back-heres-how

(which has had 14,722 views at this point in time). (15,423 on 11/16, 5 days later). (15.456 on 19th, 513 on 20th)

And this is the link to what Analii Cunningham posted about her then-new (in 2009) pelvic wisdom creation:

www.lumigrate.com/forum/restoring-functional-wisdom-female-pelvic-wisdom (which has had 3,122 views at this time).

And, I'll put a link to the topic provided by the chiropractor, aforementioned. www.lumigrate.com/forum/helping-fibromyalgia-active-release-techniques-chiropractic-manual-therapy-part-1

It seemed like we were going somewhere, collectively, and then we deviated --   but maybe we're still connected more than we know.  I hope so, and I hope Lumigrate and I are here to do just that, for a long time. 

Thank you for reading, thank you for being part --  I hope what I provide here is of value and helps.

PHOTO CREDIT: Christian Grantham - leaves; Mardy Ross/myself - O'Rio at Park During Covid Shutdown

Read counts/history: (1,365 on Dec 2, day 21 for average of 65/day)