Memorial Day 'Welcome Home': My Favorite Vietnam Veteran Teacher

Today, Memorial Day 2012, at the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, DC, the leadership of our country lead us in finally, officially, saying 'welcome home' to the veterans who served in that long 'conflict', later offically deemed a 'war'. There were shades of grey initially with US "involvement", going back into the 1950s, but in January of 1962, US pilots started transporting the south Vietnamese troops, a major turning point which provides the 'starting point'.

While many veterans have had successful lives despite not having our President every say 'welcome home', I believe it is going to go far to have had it finally said today.  It was a remarkable ceremony.  Amber even watched it for a while, which is odd for my almost three year old feline friend to curl up on the couch mid-day, but when the bagpipes played 'Amazing Grace', she thought something was going awry in the house and went running around trying to find the source of the awful noise (to her, it was wonderful to my ears.)  Hopefully she will forgive me for laughing at that!

Forgiveness, it is said, comes when you no longer wish that things would have been different. I'd gotten permission earlier this year, our third on the Internet, from Mastin Kipp, a well-known blogger about love and people, to include his 'Forgiveness' blog in Lumigrate's forum. The first and second year, a few of us collaborated to provide the family therapy/psychology, social work, occupational therapy (conventional) example of going from something bad happening to you to 'letting it go.'  

(Found in this forum: www.lumigrate.com/forums/integrative-medicine-parts-make-whole/therapy-behavioralmental-health/-head/brain-body/mind-p)

We had some apologizing to do, as a country. I was pleased to see it come today while watching on television the ceremony.  I found many lines of the address by President Obama to be very moving, including how much the Vietnam veterans accomplished after coming back, despite not being honored by the government in charge or by the people in the streets they had fought for.  My life about a decade ago was very much helped by one of them, and I wanted to share a personal account, as he had served in the offensive which Oliver North leads off his op-ed piece, which I provide a link to, below, as well as the lead-off/highlights:  

Welcome Home, Finally

By Oliver North (Archive) · Friday, May 18, 2012

WASHINGTON -- Forty-three years ago this week, the fabled 101st Airborne Division launched Operation Apache Snow -- a major ground offensive against North Vietnamese army invaders in the treacherous A Shau Valley. Though fighting raged over hundreds of square miles of triple-canopied jungle, the focus soon became a single terrain feature, a mountain, with peaks as high as 3,000 feet, the Vietnamese named Dong Ap Bia, or "Mountain of the Crouching Beast." The Americans who fought there called it Hamburger Hill.

By the time the 11-day battle ended, 70 American soldiers were dead, and nearly 400 had been wounded. More than 600 North Vietnamese soldiers perished. The only survivors of this epic battle to receive the thanks of their countrymen for their courage and commitment were the North Vietnamese.

The Americans who walked off that bloody mountain -- and every other soldier, sailor, airman, guardsman and Marine who served in Vietnam -- returned home to a bitterly divided country. The so-called mainstream media, Hollywood and academe depicted those who served in Vietnam as pothead marauders, deranged killers and the "victims" of "Johnson's war" or "Nixon's war."

There were no parades celebrating the bravery and perseverance of the 2.7 million young men and women who donned a uniform and served in some of the most difficult and dangerous conditions on earth. Until the Vietnam Veterans Memorial -- known as the "Vietnam Wall" -- was dedicated in 1982, public accolades were sparse, and ceremonies outside the confines of a military base, an American Legion hall or a Veterans of Foreign Wars post were practically nonexistent.

Now, five decades after their war began -- and 37 years after its disastrous, cataclysmic conclusion -- those who fought in Vietnam are finally being welcomed home. At 1 p.m. EDT on Monday, May 28 -- Memorial Day -- Defense Secretary Leon Panetta will host a ceremony "to ....... {please follow link and read the entire piece}

patriotpost.us/opinion/oliver-north/2012/05/18/welcome-home-finally/ 

At 'The Wall' today, I saw in attendance Colorado native Ken Salazar, a former rancher and now our Secretary of the Interior, was part of the special guests, appearing very much himself in a cowboy hat and suit, standing next to a Native American in traditional ceremonial attire, including feather and face paint; I thought that was a most interesting example of history and how people working to change things can cause a lot of change.  Time does not heal wounds, wounds heal from the things within the body that work together to create healing, and in time, the wound heals.  I've even heard doctors in the last year say about brain injuries and concussions that they heal because of 'time'. What goes into the person for liquid, nutrition, air, stress or not in a variety of factors, including restorative sleep is what allows the brain/body to heal.  

Mr Salazar was Colorado's Attorney General at the time the photograph, below, was taken; partly because of Rick's pointing out the infractions at my job, such as not paying us 50% more for hours worked over 40, and the overall ethical aspects of the way we as laborers were being treated, I stood up for myself and hired an employment attorney when I was last-minute dropped from a promised benefitted position because of divulging honestly that I had fibromyalgia; I'd more than proven my abilities to work on an injured ankle and taking only one day off after contracting 'cruise ship flu' at the facility I was 'stationed' at.  

They baited me to stay on working hourly with an 8% raise, which calculated out to be about what insurance would cost me, however, I'd already cancelled my insurance; they called 2 hours before the end of the day on the last day of the month.  I asked for it in writing and they told me they'd sent the letter.  I asked for it to be faxed to me; they said they didn't know how to work the fax machine.  Really? I'm risking my body, my health working for you and the very sick and injured patients you're billing Medicare for, and you're going to treat me like this and expect me to continue working for you?  (I was filling in for a young, healthy, athletic OT who had injured her back and was out on surgery until they had a problem with the other facility being upset at the OT so they asked me and my 'people skills' to go to the harder and angry building.  Where I'd gotten the situation turned around and they were no longer in risk of losing one of the two contracts they had in Colorado Springs at that time.  THAT's just not right!) 

Within a year I had taken a job with the same city government Rick worked for, having gotten a good job between, but the government job would pay into the retirement fund I had at least a decade of years into while being a civil servant for an air quality / visibility project and health education department 'liaison' at Colorado State Univeristy. That is where I was working at the time of the photograph, below.  He retired when I worked there because I couldn't get off early for his retirement party -- patients always come first, they literally HAVE to be seen a certain amount per week as you have asked the doctor to order -- and blasted stright from my work, arriving about 6:15. The PT who sat next to me and knew him came as well and livened things up with her belly dancing call.  One of his coworkers livened it up by starting a tradition of having shots of Tuaca.

Not long after that, Rick was back east visiting his three adult children and half dozen or so grandchildren. I was staying at his house, taking care of his dog. The strangest cascade of events had transpired immediately after I had taken an afternoon off to have a strange mole he saw on my back looked at by the first dermatologist I could get in to see -- I rescheduled a much-needed gynecologist appointment. Oddly, in our relationship he was the one pushing on me to get the medical attention I would normally have been more laid back about.  

The two departments basically didn't like the new position created for me when I came where they had to float me, which meant sharing and sometimes not having enough staff.  So they were going to undo my position by finding fault with my work and fire me.  Problem was, some of the things they dinged me for were illegal if I had done them the way they were saying, related to billing. I also knew their medical director was aware the employees making productivity were working off the clock; the managers also had to know it, as they were there watching people clock out and then return to working on documentation.  

Some didn't break the law and just hurried through their documentation and treatments and could work in that kind of frenzied, fast-paced environment.  Those of us with different brains could not.  But rather than break the law, as I'd been punished elsewhere for having stopped on my way back in to retrieve sunglasses after clocking out to answer nursings questions about getting orders for patients from the doctors, as they were new to doing that; the patients needed the therapy and if they got them on Friday afternoon we'd be able to help them the next week.  Naturally, they were really unhappy about my productivity but I wasn't going to NOT bill them for the time I was having to manage the department as the unofficial manager.  The manager was having to do treatments at two distant facilities, they took over three impossibly far apart contracts (it literally took all day to go to all three and just see one patient in each).  

And on my six month evaluation they had said I'd passed the training satisfactorily and here they were at a year saying that I had not passed the training.  So naturally, Rick was a good brain to have at my disposal to pick when I got off of work.  I didn't make any mis-steps because I had a good coach from the start of this unfortunate professional hassle!  I passed all the things they required by the deadline extended to fit the assistant manager's schedule, but they went by the official date before the AM rescheduled me to a couple of days later in order to accommodate his busy schedule of patient and administration.  

So 'it just happened' that at a time when I was going to have no less than four legal issues arise with employers, after two decades of working without incident and actually having been highly regarded and rewarded prior to my going to work in the medical field.  And all the while I had this former 101st Airborn, former management of human resources/training coordinator having my back. His father had been an officer in WW-II, and due to health problems went on to be a commercial pilot then with the FAA; he established the air traffic control system in Honduras.  

So Rick had lead a very 'enriched' life; he was a devout Christian and had taken pride in having more kids in his younth group at church than the church had adult members at one time. At his job for the city, they wouldn't allow him to do trainings in some buildings because he got the class so vocal it distracted the whole office.  

He was THE MOST FUN to be around when listening to blues music of anyone I have ever experienced, and I've been to a lot of blues events.  "Oh YEAH" in a booming voice, and an approving whistle. In many ways he was irreplaceable, a hole left forever, as we had a LOT of fun over the years related to about the only thing we had in common, which was blues and his dog, which had become my therapy dog with his taking her through a program offered where I worked.   He had a little different whistle that his dog knew meant 'come back here right now'.  I had trouble controlling her off leash because --- I can't whistle like that!  She lived to be 19! He'd named her Scooter the Wonder Dog when he got her from the pound years before, because she'd wandered away their mountain house soon after, and then came back days later.  I learned that she could sense FIRST THING in the morning if he was going to have a 'bad day', and we'd then cancel whatever plans we had as if he was going to have a bad day, you didn't want to be trying to be out and about doing something and have it go off track.  Going to a blues festival we were instructed to park and ride a gondola and that and a few other 'ordinary things' to most people lead to things going off track later.  

I tolerated it because, in my opinion, that was side effects from a problematic childhood which lead to him not doing well in college and getting drafted and serving our country, until I saw that he was not working on issues he had previously been working to change.  Later he thanked me for holding the bar where I did, and for providing an example of how many challenges I had in my past and how I continued to address them.  He said it had inspired him to do the same.  I hope so, and I hope he will have good results and enjoy the rest of his life finally, fully.  As he would say, "I'm trying to get by and keep my sideburns too."

He was proud of, and enjoyed talking with his three grown children and their children, but he was not going to be a life-long primary support system, he wisely nudged them from the nest when it was time for them to fly on their own. He had essentially be 'saved' when hitchhiking by an attractive, recently divorced mother of two; his ability to 'get it together' and earn a living once he had to think of someone other than himself, I think, saved them all in the early 1970s and they all worked hard and had a nice home, cars, health care, food, family. But once his children were raised and gone, he no longer had the motivation to continue on that path and I encountered him when he was a bit wayward again.  He'd immersed himself in the structure provided by his home and religion that it had taken him far away from his inner passions -- he bought drums for a retirement present and he became quite a good percussionist, I understand.  There simply is an element in him that is a rolling stone. And at this point, I don't wish that things had worked out differently. 

He taught me about standing up to authority and not letting an organization, including your country, your family, your friends or your church do wrong to you. At the time that I was needing to make a decision about whether to proceed with a really 'winnable' lawsuit, he happened to be on vacation with his grown sons, out of cell phone range. He called from a pay phone but it was on the coast of North Carolina and sheets of water were falling.  

The next morning before 8:30 am, the city attorney had reviewed my case and had already called my attorney three times with a 'deal' -- I learned not to make decisions when I've just been woken up in the part of my sleep cycle I really need to feel vital; I took the deal to 'resign' and to not be censured from talking about what had happened.  I'm proud of the way I handled it, going back to the overall management which had little awareness of what lower management had done railroading me, and making them aware of all the details so they could handle things appropriately.  You can't just walk away and let those behind you in your footsteps get lead to the same unfortunate fate, that's not being a good citizen and is not ethical. 

So that is why I was so pleased to see the long overdue 'welcome home' come from the leader of our great country, to the Vietnam veterans.  They were wronged 50 years ago and nobody until now made it a priority to see to it they get that respect.  I'm sure that it was 'meant to be' from a higher place that Rick and I were an influence on each other's lives for the time we were.  Due to his long-standing stressors, only the most obvious of which occurred in Vietnam with stress on the mind, spirit and body (Agent Orange), we ended up going our separate ways.  

After Lumigrate.com was on the Internet, he got ahold of me and essentially made a good explanation for how things ended between us. I accepted and appreciated his apology; it had been a long five years coming.  And then he said '.. and Mardy, you've GOT to get your website to the Veterans.... these guys.. and gals.. coming back now, have had it so much worse, if you can believe that!  My doctor's asked me to start a Point Man Ministery at the VA here in Junction but ... I just can't ...... '  

It's very difficult for people to heal with things from their past when they're continuing to talk about it; if you think about it energetically, your reality is what your thoughts are.  Just as I have found by initially focusing on the chronic illness information about body, mind, spirit and utilizing my personal history as a 'relatable example and story' with Lumigrate.com, it contributed to my not being able to maintain the level of wellness that I had obtained.  In his case, he had a 101st Airborn tattoo on one arm, and something Christian-related on another, martial arts-related on a calf.  In the summer people would approach him and thank him for his service if they saw the 'screaming eagle'.  It kept Vietnam comingled in our day in Colorado decades later; I wondered about the correlation between identity and tattoos, and how much it lead to you not letting it drop further into a more helpful place.  But on the other hand, he had the public recognition 'the boys', as he called them, were denied long ago. 

As for me, now that all that content is built, I've felt relief in being able to turn my attention to other things, including early intervention and prevention, the ideal wellness strategy.  So I have my concerns about how all this 'attention' is going to play out; I hope that the next step is to raise and approve of funding for veterans and their families. I hope that voters and those who let their elected officials know what they think will get active and lead to getting functional and integrative medicine into the VA.

It is ridiulous that recently there was just one group in all the US for veterans/family, related to movement/energy medicine. I hope that people will demand that the VA begins addressing the WHOLE person, body/ mind/ spirit, such as integrative medicine promotes.  Functional medicine: find the underlying cause and treat that, not the symptoms with medications.  And as I experiences second-hand when Rick went from having city insurance that would not allow him to see doctors except for where we had moved from, he didn't hesitate to use the VA, but they changed every single one of the medications for this, that and the other, to the cheapest versions where if there was a 'failure', then the more expensive was warranted.  As a result our long-slippery sloped relationship 'failed', because they changed too many things at once.  

As the speech today recognized about veterans and the trickle-down effect of their training and experience on our country, I believe I learned a great deal from the 'trickle down' of the recent past's medicine and am grateful for it; I hope to do my part to help create the change I would like to see happen in getting effective medical care for the body/ mind /spirit.  Hopefully it won't take another 50 years! ~~ Live and Learn.  Learn and Live Better! Mardy

Photo Credit: Pikes Peak Blues Society

My 'insignificant other' at the time, Rick, a Vietnam veteran who had served with the 101st Airborn in the A Shau Valley and other places, where he was part of a 4 man team who would peel off from the pack and go lay out wires and intercept enemy Morse code.  Essentially, as I understood it, he would write down what the 'listener' was hearing and verbalizing in terms of dots and dashes, then a third guy would transmit it by Morse code to their base command.  The fourth was special forces, assigned to kill them instead of being captured. Imagine going on a year long trip with 4 people and one of them is there to potentially kill you, that's his job.  That was impressive to me .  As was this: Spent his 21st birthday on guard duty; his CO brought him a cup of coffee at midnight.  They were not close, but compare that to what we think of 21st birthdays as.  We were out for a lot of retirement parties when the Fort Carson soldiers were deploying and they'd be out partying it up, excited to be going to do what they had trained to do. My heart was never really into the music and dance, knowing that they'd be going through what he had been through, and how long-lasting the effects were, and how many people were affected eventually. 

To put it simply, there was a lot of stress and his life, and everyone close to him after would be altered by the experiences, unless they were effectively dealt with through the correct professional help.  I personally think what naturopaths guide people toward related to detoxification and cleansing of toxins makes sense for everyone and veterans would be no exception, they'd just likely need it moreso if they'd had a lot of chemical exposures in foods, air, water, etc.   Wouldn't that be relatively easy and inexpensive to provide and do a short-term study on?  If chronic fatigue syndrome and Gulf War Syndrome are the same thing, and what works for 90% of people with CFS and FM, as reported by Dr Spurlock in our Awareness 2012 activity/forum, then why not utilize those types of strategies?

Location: The Navajo Hogan for a Pikes Peak Blues Society gathering, an organization we helped found in Colorado Springs, Colorado around the time that 9/11 happened and devasted that part of Colorado financially (as everyone deployed suddenly at the same time the 'dot com' bust and high tech was in a tailspin).  This was taken about a decade ago, in 2002 or 3.  I moved to Grand Junction at year's end/New Year 2004, he moved a week or so afterward and then as he would say had to 'sky up' and head for the life of a rolling stone, where I hope he continues to teach everyone in his path.  ~~ Mardy