Giving Thanks

The first Thanksgiving season for me after creating  Lumigrate.com, which went "live" in March of 2009, brought me new insights on people who have had adverse childhood experiences and, in adulthood, the associated complex, chronic health conditions.Me, 2008, just as we had gotten underway with the actual website creation (which launched in March 2009.)

I was concerned about the difficulties the holiday season presented for those who were perpetually reminded with every holiday about that which they did not have, setting them aside from society.  

In 2020, that changed, as most were abiding by the new norms of society with distancing, and having different kinds of get togethers.  Good friends were more inclined to get together, or couples would stick to themselves and create something special.  Change is good, in some ways.  

I caught the wave created by Facebook in 2008-2009 with the middle aged flocking to connect, or reconnect.  I'd not forseen the Facebook phenomenon when planning in 2007, or creating in "2008.  I had barely used "social media", and was a fairly novice Internet user, strangely enough.  I'd been fortunate to hire a few key people who, combined with me, made a good team.  

I'd seek the "fibromyalgia" groups, and really made some good Facebook friends on May 12, 2009, which was the first Internet-based "Awareness Day" for the "F" word disorder.  I'd create a space in the Forums for people to write their stories if they wanted -- so that they could refer people to that if they wished rather than repeating the stories of their traumas: in order to go on without the baggage, you needed to pack it up and put it in a special spot, with honor.  Then if anyone wanted, direct them to go and look through the luggage while you continue steeping in positivity, or the present struggles and NOT re-instating the mind/body connection to what you have put in the luggage.  

On Thanksgiving 2009, I would have been interacting with "the girls", sharing my eventful "foodie" experiences and hearing theirs, and working on recipes that we put in the Forums that year.  Of those from that era, two have died, two have divorced and found their way off of Facebook in the process, with a different focus in life, and others migrated away when they got cancer and felt more aligned with those wearing pink.  None of the people who helped me in Lumigrate's formative years are still helping, though I keep in touch with most.  It seems there's more change today than ever -- for the good, oftentimes, and later than sooner realized.  

Today, I share the food preparation and enjoyment part of the day with the team I'm the newcomer on, as they replace their matriarch, who was a decade younger than I, who died this summer.  It's humbling. 

The couple I assisted last Thanksgiving shared their last holiday meal that day.  Covid came and we all ended up catching it and all, but one, lived.  I'd be just beyond quaranteen on Christmas, and was not up to seeing anyone.  Same for New Years, and I returned to serve my most in need client on January 3rd.  Each week, I'd put another of my old clients on the schedule, and soon I'd be back to full time helping.  

In 2021, my clients for "caregiving", one by one, moved on to assisted livings, memory care facilities, and skilled nursing communities, or hospice.  I'd assist with obituaries, and flowers, or details with the mortuary.  "You're really being readied for something", the daughter of the deceased said, when I related how many I'd cared for were transitioning.  And on what would be my father's 100th birthday, I got a text: the home I rented was going to be quickly sold due to the end of life of the owner's spouse. 

And soon that next "something" I was being made available for came to be connected.  Four weeks later, I was moved, and underway in the "new groove". And here we are, yet another four weeks later! Thanksgiving 2021.

Today, I'm not hoping to help start any new traditions, but rather do what I can, with the help of Tres C. Bass, who turned 13 a month ago, to make this first "very different" Thanksgiving day be "okay", at the very least.  Onwards and upwards for the oldest of the matriarch who, at mid-20s, has stepped into some very big shoes being the team leader for the early-20s disabled sibling.    

Traditions can be a very comforting thing, but they can also hold us back.  Similar to keeping material items which don't have a purpose anymore, it's best to let things go, and get new as needed.  

Our Societal Righting of Wrongs

In 2018 I'd be assisting, in service to, bona fide members of THE native American tribe of indigenous people who helped those from the Mayflower become successful in their new land.  I'd be house sitting and caretaking dogs, not people, as they went on a trip to spend the holiday with biological family.  

My mother had told me our roots traced back to the Mayflower, but not to take pride in that -- they were not the top shelf of people, she had said.   And today, one of my new favorite YouTube channels, America's Untold Stories, provided a short and entertaining, interesting history of alcohol, water quality, and the history -- which includes tea, substantiating what my mother said.  Here's the link: www.youtube.com/watch

So, here we are, in western Colorado near Utah, dozens of generations later, a descendant of the Mayflower and a descendent of their indigenous, friendly helpers, helping each other.  

The matriarch of the indigenous family was on the Today show last Friday.  I learned of it on Facebook, and brought it up midday with her local-living daughter, who I helped get into a new career path back in 2018 -- inadvertently (but I'd considered "guided" and meant to be).  We happened to overlap last Friday, assisting a mutual client and filling the void that came from their spouse of five decades having recently passed.  It was gorgeous fall weather, and I just had a moment of feeling that "groove" when you're aware you're living in the esoterically interconnected spot.    

Her mother Carol is shown in the segment saying she had not been taught until recently what she now is helping teach others, and promoting as a spokesperson -- their indigeous cooking and diet methods.  I'll provide the link, below. 

They had a presence at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade this year (2021), and will have moreso in the future! This is new beginning last year (2020, when the parade occurred but they kept spectators to a minimum due to Covid concerns). Maybe another good thing that inadvertently came .... 

It's a new time we are in, and best to be flexible in our transitioning with the new, and being okay with not having the old -- at least for now.  

Here's a link to Today show's segment on their cooking/diet: 

www.today.com/video/could-foods-from-the-first-thanksgiving-help-you-live-longer-126648389647

I very much encourage the time to click and go view what's at the links I've provided, if your interest is piqued. 

I hope this has provided some food for thought, or at least some postitive time reading, for which I'm thankful, if so. 

Next, I'm going to delve further into things touched upon by Mark Grouber on the afore-linked-to YouTube at America's Untold Stories, so check back here for a forthcoming blog (and leading to existing material in the Forums here at Lumigrate.com).  

GrateFully ~ Mardy