When emotions run your conversation over the cliff- How to stay a grounded caregiver

What factors make some topics so hard to discuss?  Do you get frustrated when you try to make improvements and you just get resistance to any new ideas? Are you tired of starting a conversation and having it turn into a fight?

What can make for tough conversations? Talking to your elderly parents or spouse about needing more help in the home? Talking about long term financial needs with your siblings when one parent has medical issues? Starting to discuss what will happen when aging parents are not safe at home?

What happens to most of us is the emotional component makes us push for our best solution without stepping back to allow for other options. When you get highly attached to one outcome, there is no room for other ideas.

While you cannot predict or control what the other people do, you can start with how you manage these risky conversations.

There is one key to success when the conversation is risky. That key is to get all the relevant information out in the open. This requires practice to invite and allow others to talk freely.  It requires you to be open and honest about your intentions.  This is what true dialogue is all about. The exchange of information with the purpose of finding out what each person really thinks and why.

 Here are some listening skills to get you started on opening up risky conversations

• Find some common ground
• Comment on something you can genuinely agree on
• Make it safe for the person to talk
• Listen to understand
• Avoid judgment
• Listen from the heart
• Move beyond the content and listen for the emotional issues

Be curious and ask questions. Allow time for everyone to process ideas and acknowledge the emotional component of the discussion.

Risky conversations will come up when someone steps into a caregiver role. You can learn to negotiate these risky conversations’ with emotional balance.