I spent a long leisurely Shabbos evening with the inimitable Castelbaum sisters–Krayna [1] and Janice last night, April 8th. The conversation over dinner was enlightening and great fun. Krayna is studying with Michael Neil [2] in the supercoach academy so our conversations were about those deep blocks to being free, to seeing ourselves free of conditioning fears. We rode over the landscape on our ponies and galloped over the old tapes, stomping them a bit. We laughed a lot, cried a little. We honored the past that has kept us safe, and now has locked us up in beliefs of our own making. “Beliefs will trump motivation every time,” Krayna iterated.
So it is a new day. I’ve had so many experiences in the past six months that led up to the conversation last evening, most viscerally one in a holotropic breathwork in which I gave birth to the world, and it was fresh and new as if it had just taken it’s first breath, and I knew: each breath can be just this. Each breath can bring us the presence and joy of that moment, without all the layers of fear, judgement, constraint and expectation. How to keep that knowing fresh is the option of this time in my life. And today it seems totally possible. Totally obtainable.
And it’s all because of Shabbos. [3] That rest from how we think and move in the world so that inspiration can enlighten us. At Ktayna’s Shabbos rituals we pull two cards: an angel card and a Shabbos card. Last night I pulled the ‘inspiration’ angel card…and wonder of wonders, the ‘shabbos’ card itself. It’s been years in the making, but I have become so aware of my western need to not truly rest, to keep my mind engaged at all times. The recent past including the croning ceremony in January of this year (of which I have yet to blog about–I just can’t seem to find the words…) have brought me to the place of non-lazy non-engagement for at least a few hours each week. Where electronic devices are turned off. Where candles are lit and the week’s work is honored but released; prayers of connection for those we love are foremost in our mind. And then we breathe out, and what a mighty breath that is.
In that out-breath if we let go of conditioning, even the suffering of the world makes us less fearful or reactive. For me, holding onto that suffering has been how I can be in compassion. But a new day is dawning in which compassion has a wholly other characteristic. The characteristic is rest, that non-attached outbreath of letting be, of knowing that the world will do what it does, and my part in that remains to be uncovered. But for that moment, that compassionate moment, I do not have to carry it. Compassion carries all of us on her wings. And we can struggle or rest. I’m choosing to rest.
And the laughter? Well, I told the story of a friend’s sister who, with her 14 month old in her carseat in the back, had someone pull out in front of her that startled and annoyed her. When she blurted out, ‘What the f….’, Little Ears in the back reflected just as if in a responsive reading in church, ‘Cuddawa?’ So ‘cuddawa’ has become the code word, of course, for not cussing in inappropriate times. But it’s also in my close circle of friends come to be the watch word for ‘here’s something to steer clear of, here’s something to be aware of.’
So Cuddawa here on this Shabbos morning, my friends. I want to steer clear of my knowing, my thinking, my deep consideration of what I perceive to be happening in the world. Want to just ride with me on the wings of compassion and see what happens?
The Course in Miracles says that we know the teachers of God because…well, not because they sit straighter, try to be more holy, pray harder, do more good deeds. This book of un-conditioning our minds says that we’ll know the teachers of God because they smile more! They get the joke. Cuddawa!
I am a grandmother. I'm owned by a wolf/husky named Geronimo and we live in Central Oregon. I thrived in Western Colorado for 13 years--living in Hotchkiss and working for Hospice and Palliative Care of Western Colorado in the administrative offices in Grand Junction and helping to open the hospices in Montrose and Delta.
I have a MA in Religion, and 20 something years of hospice experience, 5 years in child advocacy and am now working with eldering.
I own a business called Finding Ground [4] and also host a multi-blogger site Virtual Teahouse. [5] Finding Ground provides spiritual companioning for those who are journeying through major life transitions. All I do is 'sit' and hold space. And show up. I do face to face sessions as well as long-distance via phone or skype sits.
Other than those facts, everything else is suspiciously, serendipitously, unscrupulously subjective.
Links:
[1] http://virtualteahouse.com/author/krayna/
[2] http://www.supercoach.com/
[3] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shabbat
[4] http://findingground.com
[5] http://virtualteahouse.com
[6] http://www.lumigrate.com/forum/cuddawa#comment-1154
[7] http://twitter.com/lumigrate
[8] http://www.lumigrate.com/forum/cuddawa#top
[9] http://www.lumigrate.com/user/login?destination=node/745%23comment-form
[10] http://www.lumigrate.com/user/register?destination=node/745%23comment-form
Comments
Beth, this is really so right on, and was very timely as I saw it had been posted just as I was taking a break from writing an email related to my 'feedback' on Sunday of the local radio station's changing their format of acoustic Sunday (by Rock Cesario, who is heard in two podcasts from late 2010/early 2011 related to healing/health and music). Since I moved here 7 years ago and found out about Rock Cesario, I've made every attempt to read his weekly column in one of the newspapers and catch 'Acoustic Sunday' -- three hours of time where I don't hear news, watch news -- in recent years I've chosen to evey stop reading the newspaper while listening and really try to pay attention to the MUSIC. I call him my "Minister of Music" and gave him that title for Lumigrate as well. (You could be Queen of Cuddawa
. Now at the top of the hour they have old-fashioned sounding music lead into hard, worldwide news. I'm all for keeping up with worldwide and local news, I just believe we're overwhelmed and bombarded by it, it's often sensationalized, and due to the nature of my work I scan TV and written information a LOT so it can feel overwhelming to me. There's a lot of reasons people are getting ill today in such massive numbers and there are also people who are getting well and staying well and creating their health reality by creating their lifestyle to encourage that better outcome. I believe news is part of that. (I also believe driving is too -- I noticed my health got a lot better when I moved to this lovely, small city with polite drivers and away from the Front Range and longer distances I had to travel with intense traffic. Many instances where I might have said "Cuddawa" every day -- LOVE THAT WORD, and story, that's really great.
My favorite part of this piece is "Compassion carries all of us on her wings. And we can struggle or rest. I’m choosing to rest." I certainly hope that Lumigrate finds people in a restful way, not a struggling way, related to their health care issues and information seeking. Thank you, as always for this piece which adds to the content and tone and is available to help those who read. ~~ Mardy
Live and Learn. Learn and Live Better! is my motto. I'm Mardy Ross, and I founded Lumigrate in 2008 after a career as an occupational therapist with a background in health education and environmental research program administration. Today I function as the desk clerk for short questions people have, as well as 'concierge' services offered for those who want a thorough exploration of their health history and direction to resources likely to progress their health according to their goals. Contact Us comes to me, so please do if you have questions or comments. Lumigrate is "Lighting the Path to Health and Well-Being" for increasing numbers of people. Follow us on social networking sites such as: Twitter: http://twitter.com/lumigrate [7] and Facebook. (There is my personal page and several Lumigrate pages. For those interested in "groovy" local education and networking for those uniquely talented LumiGRATE experts located in my own back yard, "LumiGRATE Groove of the Grand Valley" is a Facebook page to join. (Many who have joined are beyond our area but like to see the Groovy information! We not only have FUN, we are learning about other providers we can be referring patients to and 'wearing a groove' to each other's doors -- or websites/home offices!) By covering some of the things we do, including case examples, it reinforces the concepts at Lumigrate.com as well as making YOU feel that you're part of a community. Which you ARE at Lumigrate!