My Day of Service, January 17, 2011 -- What might YOU do?

Yesterday I found myself in a particularly challenging conversation about what fibromyalgia is and how it impacts my life. They were good questions coming from a sincere desire to learn, but with scrutinization -- this person realizes I am bringing health education that is truthful and cost efficient and progressive to people, and that I'm serving people by providing information on a website that's increasingly "lighting the path to health and well-being" for people, but was clearly resistant to believe that fibromyalgia is what I say it is. 

This person doesn't have fibromyalgia and it's not part of the family history, but I thought there was an interest in working on what has been going on likely life-long which interestingly, can be helped with much the same methods that work with fibromyalgia and other chronic pain and illness conditions.  Sometimes when people start having medical expenses as a result of their lifestyle, they get serious about it.  Sometimes it takes fearing the future enough to be motivated today to shift your time, energy, and money to DO SOMETHING.  Apparenlty, I'd misjudged their interest in learning about affecting their mental and physical health and preference for TV and suggested borrowing a DVD of the movie What the @#$% (bleep) Do We Know, which I use as a resource with clients and friends when consulting with them about how to change what's going on in their bodies and with their health.  It has one of the best graphics sequences of how the brain chemicals work and is done in such a FUN way with good music and it's so intelligently done, that I suggest it to people who I preceive as being an appropriate audience. 

As I say, I'm right 33% of the time, wrong 33% of the time, and 34% of the time it's a tossup.  We'll see in the long run where I fell on this one -- I hope I was right to expect this person to have embraced what I had to offer.  But truthfully, I'd already had 100% week up to then so if I'm wrong, I'll just say 'I was wrong'.  I personally believe that if a person spent as much time and energy picking my brain, even if it wasn't being pleasant at the time, there's something going on inside that will maybe need to rest and grow a while, but it was time well spent.   In my middle age I realize that some of my best teachers have been the hardest ones to deal with at some time, because it makes you focus and stretch and think and grow.  

However, I could feel myself knowing it was time to do the best thing a good therapist can sometimes do, and say 'It's time we wrapped this up for now -- I hope this has helped, I hope it continues to help, I'll be here in the future if you're ready to get serious about my time and resources'.   It's always a tough call, because you never know if you could have done something differently but when you've tried every trick in the book you know so far, and seen no real measurable progress overall and in some ways digression, it's not wise to continue as I was getting frustrated.  Because I ultimately require that people respect what I offer and work as hard as they can.  That's a relative thing, I realize, but in this case, they're not, and so masterful at manipulation and used to a family system that's not required what I do that it was a bit hurtful to be told 'so long, until you call to meet again'. 

It was the eve of a three day, holiday weekend, honoring Martin Luther King, Jr. I'd read in the local Free Press newspaper about the upcoming events at our local college, the opening prayer for which is being given by a friend of mine's family member who also used to be my neighbor.  Having found Grand Junction to be a very challenging town if you're not from here and part of things, I can only imagine what this woman faced in decades past being one of the few black people here.  There are amazing people here, though, who have made this an amazing community, it's just laced up in a way it's quirky about outsiders.  Fortunately, many people have been moving here in the timeframe before and after I did who are also thinking outside the box, and I've eventually found it to become 'home'. 

On our national day of service this coming Monday, quite "by coincidence", I agreed to participate in a case conference without charge to a team of people who are all working very hard related to the well being of a patient/client/person they serve.  Everyone's putting in more hours than they're billing for because the harash realities are that many cases are just not adequately funded.  This team has proven to date their appreciation of my expertise not just by saying so, but by their following through on my suggestions, and paying what we agreed would be workable for everyone involved.  The patient has shown up for all appointments I am aware of, and has not incurred any new problems since they started proactively searching for us professional who they heard might be the right ones to step into the team. 

With a condition very different than fibromyalgia, yet with some overlapping similarities, the biggest similarity was the difficulty in getting a diagnosis and it appears not getting an accurate or complete one many years ago. If you imagine a game of football and think about it going on for several years and but you were handed a soccer ball at the start, that would probably affect the outcome of the game years later, right?  To further complicate things, our system of medical providers who can make fast money by prescribing the newly legalized 'medical marijuana' which is available in glorified head shops has come into play and us medical providers are scrambling around trying to figure out another component to the chronic pain team. 

So in this case, my resources have gone to good use, and I'll have more time available for them and people like them who are really working, if I drop the one whose team is not helping them move forward. When resources get scarce, we have to all do our best.  However, I trust that seeds were planted for change and that the family system and person can nurture and water if they want, or they can sabbotage and keep things as they have created them -- it's worked for a reason that has to do with every person that contributes to the situation.  When the slacking person said to me 'it's your fault if you loaned this to me or gave time', it was painfully true and it was also clear they were intent on not participating in their own process and were looking for another person to blame for their problems.  And sadly, some people never want to make the changes in order to have something better.  That's reality. I just do my best and keep my conscience clear with everyone.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" is something I've personally and professionally returned to day after day since becoming an OT in 1996.  Yes, imagine that, using a tool widely felt necessary to get through addictions recovery to get through working in the medical field in the United States.  And I proudly share with everyone Lumigrate as a solution.  Less than two years since launching, we're getting our legs now. And I hope we not only march with 250,000 to Washington someday (through the Internet perhaps), we create the kind of lasting, significant change that was starting to take place when I was a child, being traumatized by having to talk to my class about something I didn't understand enough to talk about.  Yet!  I wonder if my third grade teacher is still alive to read this!  

I believe we can overcome our fears, our adversities, and create our realities for our selves and surrounding people, communities, and beyond.  But you need enough people operating on the same page.  I hope everyone remembers or refers to our President's speech this past week from Tucson in the days and years to come and we have just seen a changing of the tide.  I sensed we have.   Do your best to extend yourself every day to those around you --- who you know and don't know -- and move toward solutions, not overfocusing on the problem. 

Part if what complicates my knowing "when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em" with people, is that I have learned an awful lot in my years working with people (which is 50 now, since I've been around people since that time, essentially -- same for YOU).  It was so much easier when I had only learned half as much as I know now.  NOW, I know of all these amazing insights and perspectives related to chronic illness and what the causes likely are and what can be done about it, and I can see a route for most people I'm asked to work with, and I know my own route, which has been generally successful in managing and 'reversing' a lot of what goes on for me with fibromyalgia.  I also had amazing teachers in my family of origin which set me up to need to develop patience early on and that's been a double-edged sword for me I have come to realize.  I also have come to realize that some people use their problems life-long to be where they want to be, not chosing to become 'active in the process' of growing and bettering themselves. 

There's no other way to say it, but chronic pain and the other limitations I have use up a lot of what I have to offer others, and instead of retreating to take care of my own needs as best I could, I've chosen to compromise and create something with Lumigrate to serve people.  In my rigorous discussion on Friday afternoon, I realized once again that people mistake what I do with passion and a sense of duty and moral obligation with something I 'wanted to do'.  Yes, I chose to do this, but I also believe I was chosen to do this.  But it would be a lot more FUN for me to be doing something else.  However, that's not what reality has presented -- these are trying times, requiring, I believe, everyone to do whatever it is they can to serve others. Lumigrate is something I am very proud of doing, and I hope that it continues to bring innovative information to people and also provide me with my livelihood as a therapist working with people in various ways on the 'occupation of health care'. 

We all operate with some things in common and different related to our resources of  time, energy and money (or things you purchase with money, such as this DVD resource), and it comes down to managing them that results in success or failure at anything you do.  When one has complex medical issues, such as what I have, the energy piece is a real factor.  And many women my age say they also are just growing less patient -- there are a variety of theories I hear about that, some of them result in some good laughs too! 

Almost 20 years ago, I was skiing on Martin Luther King Holiday, at Vail, only because my ski-mate that day wanted to ski there with his friends who were such good skiers they hung with guys who were in Warren Miller Films.  I wasn't thinking of being anything but selfishly enjoying a day skiing as I was healthy and in my early 30s and it was FUN, and I got to be behind these gonzos skiing like shots down the hill and hearing the comments of observant black skiers who were leisurely skiing or standing and socializing on the slopes.  I never thought about that there would be such an association but it made Vail a very interesting visit that weekend. 

I have taken the opportunities to learn about that era of history and that important person in our history.  I purchased the book The Help last year, which I highly recommend as a novel related to the stories of blacks in America around the time Dr King was assassinated.  I have accepted jobs to work in all-black facilities in Denver because the management had observed me to be a good choice, and it was the best SNF I've ever been part of in many ways! I was working with many students from Columbine High School at the time of their horrendous shooting, and here I was this past week hoping that I was sensing a positive shifting in how we reacted to the Tucson, Arizona situation.  

On Monday, I will continue my education by attending the local event at the college related to Martin Luther King, Jr, as this is the 25th anniversary of his birthday being celebrated as a holiday.  That turned into it becoming a national day of service.  So I'm including the website about that.  It has an option to go to another website and put in your ZIP code and events related to serving or learning in your your community are listed.  I'll hope that in future years, there is something listed related to Lumigrate that we are officially organizing and sponsoring and supporting.  

I am also going to come back tomorrow and write about "mental illness" and resources for it.  Because, that sadly is part of the story for all the people involved in what I've written about today, in one way or another.  Let's move to thinking wholistically -- the body, mind, and spirit as a whole, and toward wellness.  It can be done!  And then please note that I'd met with the owners of Behavioral Health and Wellness, Cheryl and Chris Young, and they have agreed to provide more content to Lumigrate.com.  And there are others as well interested in talking further, who are set up to help at a national/international level and with progressive and valid techniques and with established websites of information. 

The link to the website I'm referring to (and a little from it which would copy over so it might 'inspire' following the link:

mlkday.gov/ [1]

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[8] Tell us how we're doing: MLKDay@cns.gov [9]

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